Alright, if you've read my other posts then you know that I've all of a sudden developed allergies. Since my first post on this subject my allergies have persisted and I'm am at a loss for what I'm supposed to do. Allergies are the herpes of the head illness world. Yes i called it a head illness, i couldn't think of a better term to describe sicknesses that deal with your head nose and ears all together. I've been self medicating with Zyrtec-D but its becoming a expensive habit. Every time i have to go into Walgreens and purchase a box of this stuff i have to trudge to the pharmacy counter, give them my id and then pay at least $20-$24 for this medicine. Here's the scene.
Me: Ughhh my nose is stopped up again and when i blow nothing comes out.
Boyfriend: What do you want me to do? You have allergies now, deal with it.
*note* Boyfriend doesn't feel bad for me because he broke his nose years back and opted out of going to the doctor so he can't even blow his nose now or the cartilage moves and he has to push it back into place. So his nose functions suck to the umpteenth power. He's the epitome of male laziness when it comes to his health, but that's another post.
Me:*baby voice* But i don't want "The Allergies". They make it hard to breath and everything smells like boogers.
Boyfriend: What the.....*sigh* what does boogers smell like babe?
Me: boogers smell like snot, dried snot...duh...
Boyfriend: *sigh* what does snot smell like
Me: *sigh* snot smells like boogers....don't act like you can't smell boogers in your nose.
Boyfriend: I can't and I don't....you're a nut job.
Me: You can, you just don't know you're smelling your boogers...its like when you smell something stinky but you can't figure out where its coming from and it doesn't smell like any smell you know but you know that you've smelled it before....that's booger aroma.
Boyfriend: You know what i can't take you right now....go take a pill.
Me: I'm out of allergy pills
Boyfriend: I was speaking of a cyanide pill but whatever, how did you run out of allergy pills? You know you needed more medicine before it ran out.
Me: Of course but the last time i went to Walgreens i had a choice of spending money on allergy pills or gummy bears and extra wash rags and the allergy pills didn't present a convincing enough commercial ad in my head.
*anyone who knows me knows that i have a obscene amount of wash cloths..like over 70*
Boyfriend: What the....*sighs* I'll buy your medicine, lets go.
Me: Yay!!! Let's go get some medicine.
As you can guess the car ride to the store is wrought with tension but I'm none the wiser as i am babbling away about some crazy blog I've started reading and Boyfriend is staring out of the window possibly wondering how he can set up an insurance policy for me and then kill me or planning on how he can unlock the doors while I'm driving and unhook my seat belt and push me out the door without crashing the truck and causing harm to himself. He's spends way too much time contemplating my demise. And then at last we arrive at Walgreens.
Boyfriend: Look when we get in here go get your medicine and get in line, no fooling around buying random crap.
Me: I don't buy crap, you're crap *note here i think my comeback was witty*
Boyfriend: I'd like to push you on the ground just one good time, i swear.
Me: I'd like to push you on the ground one good time.
Boyfriend: walks away mumbling to himself
I then proceed to walk around Walgreens in the same fashion i do every time. I pick up the washrags cause hey a pack is $5. Then i go in the chip aisle and buy a enormous amount of jerky and meat sticks. I then go and buy two bottles of baby oil gel cause i hate being ashy and when i see Boyfriend rounding the aisle corner looking for me i run to the medicine aisle and grab the slip for my medicine and hurry to the pharmacy counter.
Boyfriend: Where have you been?
Me: uh duh, here at the pharmacy.
Boyfriend: No you haven't i came back here looking for you and you weren't here....*looking at my stash of crap* What the.....I'm not paying for that junk...and you picked up more wash rags?
Me: *imitating Obi Wan while waving my fingers in his face* These are not the items you are looking for.
Boyfriend: No these are not the item you are looking for, put them back.
Me: You're being a jerk, stop being a jerk its not sexy.
Boyfriend: I don't have to be sexy, I have you. Put them back.
Cashier: Did you need the 15 pack or the 24 pack of medicine?
Me: *ignoring boyfriend* the 24 pack, thank you.
Boyfriend: I'm not buying this stuff Tynisha.
Me: *to the cashier, and still ignoring Boyfriend* Oh and I'd like to check out here also.
Now here is when we have the official Walgreens counter Mexican Standoff. Generally you have this situation with a child who wants you to spend your hard earned dollars on the ball of putty or the cheap knockoff version of a Nerf gun and even though you told them no in the aisle they still bring the item into the line and now you two are having a epic stare down while western duel music is playing in the background and the cashier is looking like a deer caught in headlights on a deserted road. But of course i never have this situation happen to me because my kids are scared of me, but i do this to Boyfriend quite often.
Boyfriend: You're only getting the meds.
Me: But i need this stuff.
Boyfriend: You need more wash rags and jerky?
Me: Yes, wash rags help keep my body clean and the jerky helps keep me awake at work so i don't get fired. These are needed supplies.
Boyfriend: You have a stupid amount of wash rags already, why do you need to use a new one everyday? And i highly doubt jerky is the factor in whether or not you keep your job.
Me: It is, you know I'm hypo...hyperglycemic and i need the jerky to keep my energy levels up while I'm at work, and using the same washrag everyday is nasty, its like washing up with the same dirt from yesterday.
Boyfriend: You still fall asleep at your desk everyday so the jerky doesn't even work, you're being greedy and dammit wash the rag out and hang it up to dry its still good the next day.
Me: Did you just call me fat?
Boyfriend: What? No i called you greedy.
Me: No you just danced around calling me fat. Being greedy when it deal with food products is giving the implication that I'm fat.
Boyfriend: Tynisha I didn't call you fat, stop trying to argue.
Me: Oh now I'm being bitchy too? Well now aren't you being loving.
Boyfriend: Huh? Look girl get the meds and lets go.
Me: Oh so now I'm a slave too, you're just gonna yell out things for me to do and cause I'm black I'm just supposed to do them?
Cashier: *utter shock and disbelief*
Boyfriend: What the F*#K? I'm black too what are you talking about?
Me: Oh so now you wanna be black?
*I should note Boyfriend is black, very black...almost the color black... but its always a good conversation gut punch when you accuse black people of not wanting to be black. LOL*
Boyfriend: You know what, I don't care get your meds and the crap *slaps money on the counter* I'll be in the car.
Me: *to cashier* He's such a drama queen.
I then leave the store satisfied with my spoils of war and i get to truck where boyfriend is sitting in the passenger seat fuming. I proceed to put my bags in the back and as i put my seat belt on i look at Boyfriends and say....
Me: I love you....and i bought you gummy bears
Boyfriend: Damn the candy, and you don't love me cause you consistently try to drive me crazy
Me: I do love you, that why i put the time and effort into driving you crazy. If i didn't love you I wouldn't waste my time.
Boyfriend:
Me: *kisses him on cheek*
Boyfriend: Give me the damn gummy bears girl.
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